Why you can't leave someone? Why do you always worry about gaining and losing in a relationship and have an extremely strong desire for control? In the final analysis, it's because your needs in childhood were not met, and you deeply long for an attachment relationship that is deeply intertwined. Otherwise, you will feel extremely uneasy, confused, and anxious. No matter what the other person's personality is like, essentially, you are eager to be like a child again in an intimate relationship, in order to make up for the self that was not seen or satisfied in the past. And what you like is never the person himself, but the state of integration without boundaries that was shown before the relationship began. Because you project your need to rely on others onto him, and all of this stems from your excessive pursuit of a sense of symbiosis and integration. You may seem to love the other person deeply, but in fact, it's not love; it's about satisfying the needs that were not met in your early years. I always say that in an intimate relationship, it is essentially a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. When you are not complete and your inner needs are wounded, never expect to fill that void from another person. If you haven't even acknowledged the wounded self in the past or recognized your own needs, how can you see true love? Only when you first see yourself and also understand the needs of both you and the other person can you truly love yourself and love others. Many times, the intense love that you think you have is actually just the projection of your unacknowledged needs and fantasies, and it's a terrifying desire for control, rather than true love.