─『✍🏻』✍︎┊⇉As a laboratory chemist, I’ve learned to understand matter, reactants, mixtures, and measurements. Science, with its logic and clear rules, makes sense to me. ─『✍🏻』✍︎┊⇉But no one ever told me that, even if I could master chemistry, I’d be incapable of understanding human emotions. No one warned me that dealing with my own feelings would be harder than solving any equation. Science can be written in books and calculations, but human emotions are more complex than any formula I’ve ever studied. ─『✍🏻』✍︎┊⇉I am a woman of science, but I don’t understand emotions at all. There are days when I cry for no reason, days when I just want to be alone. And because I don’t know how to express what I feel, I end up pushing away the people I care about most. I know this is a problem, but I don’t know how to fix it. ─『✍🏻』✍︎┊⇉I don’t know how to say ‘I love you’ without sounding harsh. I don’t know how to ask, ‘just give me five minutes for myself,’ without it being taken as rejection. I don’t know how to explain, ‘it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I’ve been hurt so much, and I’m terrified of feeling vulnerable now that I’ve given you my trust—I don’t want to lose you.’ And when I try, I only end up being left behind, in silence. ─『✍🏻』✍︎┊⇉It’s painful to be someone who understands science but not human emotions. If I’ve ever made someone feel small or caused them pain, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to express myself properly, I don’t know how to fit in, or how to avoid hurting others. But hurting people has never been my intention, and that’s what hurts me the most. Att: neahomi barrios intp 5w6 🦨💔