Why You Need Scallops When You’re Feeling Blue You’re sad. Not the kind of sad that makes poets write sonnets. The kind that makes you wonder if your life is a poorly written sitcom. You should eat scallops. Not oysters—too romantic, too decadent, too “someone probably died harvesting these”. Not lobster—too much work, too much guilt. Scallops. Scallops are perfect. They don’t ask questions. They don’t judge. They just sit there, seared golden, waiting to be eaten. They are the silent bartenders of the sea. It tastes like the ocean, which is ironic because right now, your life feels like a shipwreck. And when you’re done, there’s nothing left. Shells simply remind you of what you’ve consumed. No bones to accuse you. Just an empty plate and the quiet understanding that sometimes, the only victory is eating a meal without crying into it. That’s all you get today. Tomorrow, maybe more. Or maybe just more scallops.