I just applied for two jobs. One is within walking distance from

where I live and the other is accessible by transit should I soon not have a vehicle to use. It's time I've made some better life choices. It's going to be difficult ahead. I am scared, but I am tired of being unhappy. I am not getting any younger and I am exhausted from crying and yearning and having this road block. I have to break away and become independent again. I need to see this through so I can experience everything I want. I have to stop trying to live around others demands and wishes and feeling guilty about my own needs. I have to be the innovator of my own life. I will admit that my standards in humankind have vastly diminished. I deserve more. I deserve to be happy and treated with respect. I deserve to be loved with thoughtfulness and care. I deserve to give all of those things to myself and more.